Only Today
by theKRITIC
Summary: George rarely drinks. He drinks today. Not too much, he tells himself. He lies.


George rarely drinks. He drinks today. Not too much, he tells himself, but he lies.

George drinks long after everyone in the Dancing Dove has left. He doesn't drink there, though—he drinks in the cellar. He doesn't want to be seen right now. He is drinking far too much.

He vaguely registers that there are a few empty bottles beside him.

He can remember a time when he wasn't King of the Rogue. He smiles. George remembers when he became the King. He stops smiling. He is much older now and he knows how much has happened since.

He remembers being triumphant when he first became king. It might be because he has had a little too much to drink, or maybe because he is a little too old, but he forgets why he wanted to be king in the first place.

He remembers why he started collecting ears. He remembers why he keeps them. He smiles a little bitterly at this thought. The ears are down in the cellar with him. He has lost count of how many ears he has.

George stops remembering now. He has had too much to drink to remember much. He thinks about today. He thinks about why he is drunk. _Only a little drunk,_ he tells himself as he hiccups a little. He lies. He knows that he is more than a little drunk.

He doesn't mind, even though he knows it is dangerous for the King of the Rogue to be drunk. He knows why it is dangerous very well, because he still remembers why he became king. Somehow, though, he forgets the promise he made himself to never get as drunk as the old king was when George killed him.

He remembers earlier today. Only a little, though. He can only remember a little bit before he started drinking. His other memories left. Now there is just a face in his head.

He remembers how kissing Alanna felt. He kissed her the first time today. It wasn't how he wanted to kiss her. He isn't sure if he will be able to kiss her the way he wanted to kiss her.

Somehow this isn't what he wants to remember and so he tells himself to forget. But his mind, his treacherous mind, keeps remembering the look on her face. He tells himself that he was lucky to get that one kiss. (He can't get that face out of his head. It is confused and upset and maybe a little angry.) He drinks a little more. Her face is still in his head, blurring together red and purple. He remembers that too well. He hiccups. (Her face is so blurry. He doesn't want her face to be blurry.)

He knows that she will try to avoid him tomorrow, but maybe he can make her talk to him. Maybe he can make her love him.

He can make her love him, maybe. They would kiss without George having to trick her into getting her arms full. She would freely kiss him. Maybe. His head is swimming now and he thinks about Alanna some more. A little more, and then he has to stop.

He remembers the kiss. He wants another kiss. He could call her his Lioness, if she loves him. She isn't his. She's Jon's, he tells himself.

He hiccups again. He remembers her face and it swims, blurring together red and purple. There is some reproach in it, he remembers. George shakes his head. "No more remembering," he tries to say, but he isn't sure what comes out of his mouth. He is lucky if he even gets a rasp out. Then he hears himself hiccup once more. He laughs bitterly. He knows his hangover tomorrow will hurt more if he drinks more.

He drinks a little more anyway.

He can't even taste it anymore.

He puts his head down on his knees. Maybe if he presses on his eyes, the red and purple in Alanna's face will leave him be.

It doesn't.

Later, Rispah finds him. She clucks at him, but he isn't listening. He can't understand her anyway, even if he were listening. She says something else he can't hear and takes away his bottle. He doesn't resist, because he knows he's had too much. Besides, he is too drunk to care.

"Men," Rispah mutters. George can hear that.

Somehow she gets him to bed. After thinking for a moment, she decides to stay with him. George doesn't really notice.

After a few minutes George notices that he is not in the cellar anymore. He tries to thank her. He can't even hear himself. Rispah shushes him.

After a few more minutes George falls asleep. But even asleep he can't get peace. He dreams of red and purple.


End file.
